Monday, September 13, 2010

All Those Yesterdays

Monday, September 13 2010, 1:43 AM
"Reach the door,
 With a breath and a scream,
 Life ain't what it's worth
 A breath and a screa,
 Reach the door.."

1:56 AM
This is the first time in years my life seems definitive..like there's a plan and it's being followed. It's not my favourite plan but I'm just glad it's something. I'm a little tired, a little overwhelmed, a little lost but it still hasn't sunk in yet.

I cannot believe how bad the GRE sucked. The worst bit is that not only does your score suck, your self-esteem seems to join it. This time I was sure I'd killed it....that phrase is funny, "killing it". Never really understood how it came about, especially with a positive connotation...Anyway, the point is that I'm not sure whether I'll stick with this score or give it again..can't seem to decide. Probably because it still hasn't sunk in yet.

1:05 PM
I finally got down to organizing all the documents and whatnot I need to take with me. Leaving seems so much more...real..now. And the more real it gets, the less I seem to like it.
The biggest hangup about leaving is all that you can't leave behind, but you must. There's just too much of me invested here, more that I had realized. If I could take five ridiculous things with me, they'd be:

  • Jayu. For the first time, I truly understand the concept of a best friend. I've had best friends before, but the ultimate nature of best-friendship was never understood before this awesome person came along. This one's for you King Kong. 
  • Eve/Maria. This one is still hard to digest. I have not been away from either of my guitars for longer than 3 weeks. In fact, since 2005, I have not been away from a guitar for longer than 3 weeks. I dont know what I'm going to do
  • Khan Market. I've practically lived there for about 2 years now. There's just something about that place. I feel at home there somehow.
  • My roof. It's the best spot of all time. It's my happy place, my sad place, my thinking place..it's going to be sad to leave it behind. 
  • The Delhi Metro. There's some strange connection there...

1:37 PM
I never thought I would, but I'm going to be in a strange mood when I pack...it still hasn't sunk in yet...

4 comments:

  1. The phrase came about because the americans have been murderers, they got rich off of the world wars and hence the phrase 'killing it' has a positive connotation.

    Watch Up In The Air, youd learn a thing or two.

    And post more often, bumblebee. I always have John Mayer playing whenever Im reading your posts, its ridiculously unbelievable. Anyway, Ive to leave for college in five. Call sometime.

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  2. I have seen up in the air. It fucked with my head for a whole week...

    I know...I need to post more often. But the absence of an internet connection comes in the way. I'll try and post a long overdue one this weekend though

    P.S John Mayer and I are cool like that :D

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