Day Old Hate
It's sad how moods can flip in a second! All it takes is a going-throuh of the old gmail inbox. God I hate gmail sometimes. It's this archive of everything you want to forget but you're too afraid of deleting and that is a dangerous combination.
I can actually see myself (ironically) regress the further I keep reading.
Time machine, time machine, where art thou?
It's hard to read everything, see how blind to things I was, and just carry on in denial. It's worse to have that sort of clarity now.
It makes me wonder. This clarity. Does it apply to the present or am I going to go through my inbox 2 years from now and feel the same way
Have I learnt anything from the past? From the mistakes and the victories? From the fights and pensive conversations? From the jokes and the tears?
Dallas Green sang these lines once,
"Isn't it great to find out
That you're really worth nothing?
And how safe it is
Just to feel safe"
I've noticed something in the past few months. Some songs I used to think we're the writer/singer talking to another person, make more sense to me when I look at them as the writer/singer talking to themselves. A Two-person interaction with oneself.
It's an interesting perspective to have, depending on what you're really trying to achieve. The aforementioned
quote, is a perfect example of that
I think a good test of being happy might be looking at your gmail inbox and not feeling low.
Maybe one day it'll make sense...