"Reach the door,
With a breath and a scream,
Life ain't what it's worth
A breath and a screa,
Reach the door.."
This is the first time in years my life seems definitive..like there's a plan and it's being followed. It's not my favourite plan but I'm just glad it's something. I'm a little tired, a little overwhelmed, a little lost but it still hasn't sunk in yet.
I cannot believe how bad the GRE sucked. The worst bit is that not only does your score suck, your self-esteem seems to join it. This time I was sure I'd killed it....that phrase is funny, "killing it". Never really understood how it came about, especially with a positive connotation...Anyway, the point is that I'm not sure whether I'll stick with this score or give it again..can't seem to decide. Probably because it still hasn't sunk in yet.
I finally got down to organizing all the documents and whatnot I need to take with me. Leaving seems so much more...real..now. And the more real it gets, the less I seem to like it.
The biggest hangup about leaving is all that you can't leave behind, but you must. There's just too much of me invested here, more that I had realized. If I could take five ridiculous things with me, they'd be:
- Jayu. For the first time, I truly understand the concept of a best friend. I've had best friends before, but the ultimate nature of best-friendship was never understood before this awesome person came along. This one's for you King Kong.
- Eve/Maria. This one is still hard to digest. I have not been away from either of my guitars for longer than 3 weeks. In fact, since 2005, I have not been away from a guitar for longer than 3 weeks. I dont know what I'm going to do
- Khan Market. I've practically lived there for about 2 years now. There's just something about that place. I feel at home there somehow.
- My roof. It's the best spot of all time. It's my happy place, my sad place, my thinking place..it's going to be sad to leave it behind.
- The Delhi Metro. There's some strange connection there...
I never thought I would, but I'm going to be in a strange mood when I pack...it still hasn't sunk in yet...