New Delhi State of Mind

The title is a Billy Joel reference. Yes, he is awesome! Haters can leave.
I've been listening to an odd variety of music lately. Lots of Joel, Dave Matthews Band, Incubus, Stone Gossard and the ever-engulfing "Hi-fidelity Lows" playlist.
I still don't know what it all means though.

It's been a while since I visited this place...Honestly, I completely forgot I even had a blog. A new friend stumbled across it and reminded me. I feel like one of those parents who leave their kids at the supermarket and bring home a pumpkin instead.
But it's not like I've had much to post about. Life's been pretty monotonous since i quit work. I'm studying - not as much as I should, but enough to make me not panic. I still have to fix a damn date for GRE but I know I'm not delaying it beyond the first week of August. I'll try to not procrastinate and "be my own person" as I was recently told to be. I still don't know what it all means though.

I'm REALLY tired of this city right now. I love it and everything but I've had enough. The heat, the shit, the complete hopelessness...I thought 2010 would be better..Turns out, its just 2009 in sheep's clothing.
I desperately need Bangalore- that city is like Vegas to me...ok, maybe a little more than just Vegas.I did end up playing a few gigs though. I never realized how comfortable I feel on stage...it literally feels like i was meant to do this. I have this thing- Any band I play live with, ends up breaking up after 2 gigs. I haven't played more than 2 (professional) shows with any outfit. I still don't know what it all means though.

On the bright side of it all, I'm collaborating with a friend of mine to work on my first EP. Nothing fancy just redoing a few tracks of mine with another friend who's going to help out with some vocals and whatnot. Wont say much on this right now...don't want to jinx it.

I still don't know what it all means though...

Let It Out

Built upon bridges of hay
And promises made yesterday
I stagger along and wonder
The sun that shone in his face
The jigsaw that fell into place
It all falls asunder

One more time
Close your eyes and take the fall
Let it out
Let me in and save the song

The fear i hold inside
And the madness on the outside
Try to save me from denial
But days of sun and days of rain
Take away all the pain
And leave me beguiled

One more time
Close your eyes and take the fall
Let it out
Let me in and save the song

Another dream
The curtains fall
The pictures scream
Cant say it all
Locked in a room
Melodies die
Questions loom
Answers pass me by

One more time
Close your eyes and take the fall
Let it out
Let me in and save the song

Six Hundred Days

It's getting late, but just a little bit
Maybe in time I'll know, but not today
Sweet saccharine, hides a vice
Here I go adding some sour, to my nice
I see a bright light, but this is not the end
I find the right clues, but no answers
The last song, played clean
But no sad coda, just the in-between

Here we are, once again
Face to face
To say goodbye, and bury those
Six hundred days

It's a brand new day, but not quite
Some things have changed, some haven't
New beginnings, a whole new face
Here I go making, a little more space

Here we are, once again
Face to face
To say goodbye, and bury those
Six hundred days

A Great Day For Freedom

So I finally quit work.

I'm sitting at home on a monday for the first time in 6 months and it feels good! I finally feel like I can get down to so much of other work that's been piling on since God-knows-when.

I haven't written anything of substance(not including this blog) in over four months! I haven't recorded a whole song in over three..and I strongly belhttp://www.blogger.com/post-create.g?blogID=2282195563134620081ieve it was because of work. The office was a road block when it came to creativity, and I know that for a fact because I already have a solid idea for a new song in my head...The cool bit is that the parts were thought of months back, but just sitting and sorting them all out in my head let them fall into place, and into a structure...
If nothing else, I have "Shuchi's Song" to keep the creative juices flowing.

I'm glad Shuch showed up at TLR..and E at route04. There's this sense of euphoria that surrounds reconnecting with friends after a period of time, even if you're just standing with a pint waiting to play a gig, or just sitting in bar and catching up. I'm drawn to two very opposing sides when it comes to "catching up". A part of me feels like it should never get to the point where you need to "reconnect" with a friend, but a part of me enjoys the euphoria too much. Trying to draw a conclusion, a little logic helps me cheat...Logic and I share a love-hate relationship worthy of a TV soap, but more on that later..

R.I.P

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rEARSh0Q1JY&feature=related


This is what they meant when they said the music died.

What also died with it, was a little bit of me, when I saw this...

I feel fractured

Silver Bullets

Rain brings life to this
Barren ground i call
My mind
And these days
Realization lies in
Knowing I have left
Some scars
Along the way
Yet to heal

I'm done waiting
I'm done playing
Go find you silver bullet
I got my earthen dreams

Medicate this
Frustration or tell me
Things arent right
But they arent wrong
Misleading hope has
Thrown me off but
I still hold
My resolve
To bring me home

I'm not thinking
I'm not praying
Go find your silver bullet
I got my earthen dreams

Subterranean Homesick Engineer

It's a slow wednesday. Im blogging from the office because the work is done..alright, not done - I've done most of it but I'm stuck at this one point where the diagram refuses to show and its completely aggravating...

not the point...

I'm not quite sure what the point is, actually. Im working for a company that doesnt pay me, without a degree in my hands(for the time being) and with only a rough idea of what I want to do in life...yet somehow, in general, I feel alright. I think the system's made me immune to overthinking things. College was like that- barely studying for the internals, somehow scraping through the end-sems(yeah, I did give a re-appars, but I can honestly say it wasn't because of me....no, im not a blame-thrower...leave!), conjuring projects and assignments out of thin air(read, the world wide web, coupled with the fancy boys at nehru place and/or gafaar market). Four years just made me accustomed to the "ho jaaega" frame of mind...Just makes me worship Pink Floyd even more for having coming up with being "comfortably numb"...I'll stop ranting now..

I hate being in the office and not having anything to do. I'd rather just do that at home, at least there I can waste my time away in the comfort of my bed rather than a lousy, revolving chair.

But hey! I found out NTU doesnt require work ex, so plan A is, for all practical purposes, back on track :D
I just need to start studying for the GRE......tiny techinicality if you ask me. Though, I really should stop going out as much as I do on the weekends, thats the only time I have to study 'coz there is no way in hell I'm studying AFTER work! Mind-numbing-ness will reach great, new heights if that happens and I really could do without that for now.


Me.

P.S How in the world do I get more people to read all of this?!